Thanks for that, Shana. It was the only word I missed as well. I wonder how well that rule works in other languages ... like arabic, for example.
it really is amazing! i could understand the all text, and i'm not very good at english... i will try to do this in portuguese and show it to my friends
To welcome all the newcomers: The wisdom of Larry the cable guy...... 1. A day without sunshine is like night. 2. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 5. Remember, half the people you know are below average. 6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap. 9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have. 10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. 12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments. 13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand. 14. OK, so what's the speed of dark? 15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. 16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. 17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? 18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines 19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice? 20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? 21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the heck happened?" 22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off. 23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
Gotta a minute to kill? Go to Google Maps, then to Get Directions, then ask for the directions from New York, NY, to London or Paris. Find out what you're supposed to do when you get to the end of the wharf (down around line 21 or 23 or so of the directions.) See ya soon, Mirelly, but not too soon, 'cause I think I'll head for Paris first.
LOL, Lynet. In about 29 days, according my directions. I thought you were kidding but apparently Google think of everything
It funny seeing this again. I once did a speed reading course and this is what it is based on. You can scan words very quickly if you don't try to read them. I was getting 400 words per minute with 90% comprehension. And you get faster the more you practice. The only problem is, it plays havoc with typing. Wow try and run the spell checker with this one.
How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?? Two. One to do it and one not to do it. How many Drag queens does it take to change a light bulb.?? Two. One to mix the martinis and the other to call the electrician.
i hope that no one had post this before, but i just found this picture and i think it's really funny i found it here http://www.ahajokes.com/ "Modern Jail Implements New Security Feature..."
Pregnancy/Childbirth Q&A. Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, 35 children is enough! Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, right after he finishes college. Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex? A: Childbirth. Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational. A: So... what's your question? Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right? A: Yes; in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current. Q: When is the best time to get an epidural? A: Right after you find out you're pregnant. Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor? A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you. Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth? A: Yes, pregnancy. Q: Do I have to have a baby shower? A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly. Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? A: When the kids are in college.
Got another one! Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK? Let's find out just how clever you really are.... Ready? GO!!! (scroll down) First Question: You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second! Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK? Second Question: If you overtake the last person, then you are...? (scroll down) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person? You're not very good at this, are you? Third Question: Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it. Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30 Add another 1000 . Now add 20 . Now add another 1000 Now add 10 . What is the total? Scroll down for answer..... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100. If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator! Today is definitely not your day, is it? Maybe you'll get the last question right... Maybe. Fourth Question: Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn't. Her name is Mary.Read the question again! Okay, now the bonus round: A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ He just has to open his mouth and ask... It's really very simple.
A dumb drunk walks into a bar with a pig under his arm. The barman says "where did you get that!?" The pig says "I won him in a raffle." regards moon
A Rabi is at a restaurant with his wife and friends. The Rabi calls out. Waiter! Waiter comes over. Rabi-- Taste my soup. Waiter-- There is nothing wrong with you soup sir. Rabi-- TASTE MY SOUP.! Waiter-- The chef has just prepared this soup today sir. Rabi-- TASTE MYYYY SOOOUP!. Waiter-- OK. Where is the spoon.? Rabi-- UH HA Regards moon
LOL, Moon. I especially like the termite. And Shana, I love the pregnancy joke. (Thought I'd posted this before but must have been having troubles with the connection.)
great jokes... everyone! just what I needed today. I've got an elephant joke but I'm hesitant to post it......... it's not your everyday elephant joke. But how about this one for now: A minister, a priest and a rabbi went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake. Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped in the water. Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their "freedom." As they were crossing an open area, who should come along but a group of ladies from town. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the minister and the priest covered their privates and the rabbi covered his face while they ran for cover. After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on, the minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his face rather than his privates. The rabbi replied, "I don't know about you, but in MY congregation, it's my FACE they would recognize.'' Of course if they were in the sims, that problem would be blurred.
