humm i hope that anyone had post this joke before but here it goes ---------------------------------------------------------------------- One day a guy walked into a pet store to buy a parrot. He found one that he liked and went up to the counter to buy it. The store clerk saw which parrot he had picked out and said, ''That parrot repeats everything he hears.'' ''That's alright,'' the man replied. So the man bought the parrot and left the store. As he was walking down the street, he saw a cop chasing a robber. The cop hollered to his partner, ''Shoot him down, shoot him down!'' Then the parrot said, ''Shoot him down, shoot him down!'' They kept walking and found a man who was trying to pry his car off the ground with a crowbar because his wheels had been stolen. The man said, ''Pop it up, pop it up!'' The parrot said, ''Pop it up, pop it up!'' They kept on walking to a carnival. A guy at a gamestand yelled, ''Hit a big one, win a prize!'' The parrot said, ''Hit a big one, win a prize!'' Then they walked into a church and sat down. The minister was in the middle of the sermon. He said, ''The Lord is above us.'' The parrot said, ''Shoot him down,shoot him down!'' The minister said, ''The devil is below us.'' The parrot said, ''Pop it up, pop it up.'' Then the minister got angry and threw a bible at the parrot. The parrot ducked and the bible hit a fat lady behind him. The parrot said,'' Hit a big one, win a prize!''
A Blondie is watching a sport fishing show on TV, and thinks to herself. Ice fishing, now that seems like fun. So she goes to a fishing shop and buys the equipment. She goes out on the ice. Sets up her stool. Pours a coffee from her Thermos. Cuts a hole in the ice and starts to fish. She suddenly heres a voice. "Theres no fish under the ice". So she packs up her gear and moves a 100 feet to another spot. Sets up her stool. Pours a cup of coffee. Cuts a hole in the ice and starts to fish. Suddenly a voice rings out. " THERES NO FISH UNDER THE ICE". She looks around and calls out. "IS THAT YOU GOD". A voice replies. "NO ITS THE ICE RINK MANAGER" regards moon
OK, then, here's my favorite: Two blondes are walking down a country road when they see a third blonde in a rowboat in the middle of a cornfield, rowing for all she's worth. The first blonde says, with a sigh, "That's the kind of behavior that gives the rest of us blondes a bad name." "Yeah," says the second, snapping her gum, "doesn't she know she's supposed to wear a life preserver?"
very funny! this is one of my favorites, it have been one of the first jokes i heard about blondes LOL A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!
very good Vega and here's another... Cheating A blonde suspects that her boyfriend is cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment that same day, with the gun in hand. Sure enough, when she opens the door, she finds her boyfriend in the arms of a redhead. She points the gun at her boyfriend at stares him down for a moment. Then, suddenly, she's overcome with grief, so she puts the gun up to the side her head. Her boyfriend screams, "Honey, don't do it..." The blonde yells back, "Shut up! You're next!"
Since we're on a roll... top ten jokes from another site Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions! The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. "Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!" A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked, "Where did you get that?"The pig replied, "I won her in a raffle!" A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall. She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For best results, put on two coats". Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. First Blonde: "I can't seem to get this door unlocked!Second Blonde: Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down! Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks. The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, "I think they could be bird tracks." The second blonde went to look and said, "No, I think these are deer tracks."They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train! A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied, "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer." A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling, "You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!" A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump. Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend."But the blonde insisted saying, "No. A bet's a bet." Then the redhead said "Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money." The blonde replied "Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!" A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try. The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157." The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car. Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
Van Gogh's Family Tree After much careful research, it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them: His obnoxious brother: Please Gogh His dizzy aunt: Verti Gogh The brother who ate prunes: Gotta Gogh The constipated uncle: Cant Gogh The brother who worked at a convenience store: Stopn Gogh The grandfather from Yugoslavia: U Gogh The brother who bleached his clothes white: Hue Gogh The cousin from Illinois: Chica Gogh His magician uncle: Wherediddy Gogh His Mexican cousin: Amee Gogh The nephew who drives a stage coach: Wellsfar Gogh The ballroom dancing aunt: Tan Gogh A sister who loved disco: Go Gogh The bird lover uncle: Flamin Gogh His nephew psychoanalyst: E Gogh The fruit loving cousin: Man Gogh An aunt who taught positive thinking: Wayto Gogh The little bouncy nephew: Poe Gogh And the niece who travels the country in a van: Winnie Bay Gogh
LOL! Oh my I'm laughing so hard at that mental image. :rotfl: Ok here's another joke (it's better 'told' verbally though) - Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... A: A fsh.
LOL, Michelle and Odin. I keep meaning to tell this one to my husband. Especially since he keeps chasing the deer out of the yard. He thinks it's fun to watch them run into the woods.
