A bit of a girl issue... [Warning: Male members of the forum, beware. There may be some things you are uncomfortable with in this thread.] So. I'm now entering that stage in most girls' lives where they realize that their friends are all shaving their legs and they haven't begun yet. I promise you that it's not an issue of trying to fit in, but rather my own self-confidence. Last year I became conscious of the hair growing on my legs. I briefly considered asking my mother if I could begin shaving, but quickly dismissed the idea when I remembered the uncomfortable incident of sitting next to my five-years-older cousin in a car ride and feeling the prickles of hair that were growing back in on her legs against my skin. My mother always used to talk about the "fact" that shaved hair grows back thicker and darker--seeing as I'm Asian, I don't see how my hair could get any darker, but I digress. By the end of the summer I had started to hate the hair on my legs. It made me feel ugly and unsophisticated. By the way, I hope I don't offend any women here who don't shave their legs. This is just the way I feel about my own appearance, not others'. Anyway, I felt so embarassed by my legs that I felt the need to cover them up with jeans or long socks (that's where my sock obsession started, I suppose) and, of course, that was really inconvenient in summertime. I believe I've only worn capris once this entire school year without at least knee-high socks, and the entire day I felt uncomfortable and awkward, trying to keep my legs in motion or hidden out of sight under desks, should anyone look too closely at them. So as the year progressed, I began considering shaving my legs. I noticed that some of my friends shaved their legs and I actually felt a little jealous, even though it was really my own reluctance to begin shaving that prevented me from doing so. I'm sure, if I really explained to my mom with perfect clarity how this is affecting my self-esteem, she would let me. But anyway, it wasn't a problem keeping my legs covered all this time because of the cold weather, but now as spring is approaching, I'm thinking of capris and shorts and skirts. The worse thing about this hair issue is that I'm actually quite proud of the shape of my legs and everything. I'm sure that once I begin to fill out a bit more in high school, I wouldn't look too bad. They're long and thin, though almost to the extent of looking awkward, but still, it would make me feel a lot less insecure if I could wear shorts and capris that show off the best part of me. It would be a lot easier to make my decision if my sister was shaving. Instead, she tweezes her legs. Yup, every single hair. It seems like a very tedious task--it must take at least an hour, though she claims that they grow back thinner and lighter. However, I'm quite sure it doesn't last much longer than shaving does, since I see her tweezing away on her bed almost every night. I have looked up alternatives to shaving, but the only one that seems appropriate for a thirteen year old girl is depilatory creams, like that stuff called Nair with the "the less you wear, the more you need Nair" jingle. I read up a bit on it and found that it doesn't work very well on darker and thicker hair, and the hair on my legs is quite dark, though thankfully not very thick. So...I'm not entirely sure what I was looking for by starting this thread. I guess I just want your opinions--what do you think I should do?
There's nothing wrong with wanting to shave your legs. A lot of women do it, myself included. If you decide it's something you want to do I'm sure your mom will help you. It sounds like it would help you feel more comfortable with your appearance, and cooler as well in the summer. I've been shaving my legs for years and the hair on them is barely thicker than when I started, around your age. So I'm not sure that old wives tale always holds true. You could wax them, but that hurts. I don't recommend Nair. A lot of people I know are allergic to it and it can turn your skin orange. If you do try it, use it on a small test patch of your skin first just in case. There are other products out there as well, but what I use is girly shaving cream and a good safety razor. Always use a sharp one. Use lots of hot water and take it slow. That's my advice. Good luck.
I take care of this business in the shower. Razor and cream. It's fast. It's simple. It's down the drain. Takes my husband longer to do his chin with an electric razor and a mirror. And even though he thinks he's rinsed away all the fuzz, there's always some left on the sink. I don't have to do my legs every day. But everybody's different. And it's not like a contract or anything. Nothing to stop you from using tweezers or wax later on. Long legs? *sigh* I'm very envious. And, BTW, 123. I really hope this spring semester of school has turned out OK for you. I remember that you were quite worried about it.
Let's get one thing absolutely straight. The old saw concerning hair growing back thicker due to shaving is a total myth. If it were true then all the women in our family would've shaved our heads daily for a year or more (and worn wigs for the duration) just to get our baby fine fly away hair to grow back thicker and more manageable. The fact is that it is a true old wives tale based on a misrepresented fact and designed solely to prolong their childrens' babyish countenances. The fact is that hair we want to remove (both males and females) is secondary sexual hair growth. The hairs that are stimulated by the sex hromones during and after puberty first grow out long. These are wispy at first because that's how they start out. However all hairs die and fall out and new ones regrow. The new ones take on the genetic form they are programmed with and come in as thick or thin as the are meant to. Shaving cuts the hair off so when it resurfaces above the skin its sharp corners make it prickly ... this adds to the lie that shaving makes them grow back thicker. Depilatory creams dissolve the hair away to a point, which gives the impression of the hair growing back finer. Wait a week or two and it'll soon show how thick it is. Plucking removes the hair completely but it may also damage the follicle resulting in corkscrew hairs, ingrowing hairs (red pimples often needing a bit of digging to get the hair out ... ) Plucking is OK for very thin skinned areas, like eyebrows, but for legs ... I also knew a girl I worked with who claimed she plucked her legs ... she didn't have spotty legs either, so maybe I am also perpetuating another myth ... Waxing is a matter of personal choice. Mostly it is expensive and messy, which is more of a concern than pain which is subjective anyway. So many women have it done (to unmentionable degree) that the pain can't be that bad or they wouldn't do it. I treated myself to some leg waxes a few years ago but the expense and the hassle of organising the appointments to match a schedule soon proved too much when a simple razor in the shower can do the same job in 3 or 4 minutes. I only use the cheapest disposable razors and throw them away after a single use. I don't buy shaving creams. Shower gel is just as good IMO, but baby oil is even better ... and drying off after is so easy ... but cleaning the shower after is a total pain Oh, my advice. Well, you're a minor. Of course you need to make your own choices about what you do with own body and that is your right. You mother also has the right to know (she'll notice anyway) so my counsel is to talk it over with mom first. Make sure you know your stuff about the myths and old wives tales. Even mothers can learn new stuff, but you have to be patient. Take your time and don't bulldoze into it. If you have to take her on 3 or 4 times before she gives her blessing you will both benefit in the long term from building a stronger and more intimate relationship. Now is the time that you have the chance to make your mom your first best (adult) friend. Best friends trust each other, so build that and everything else will follow.
I shave in the shower - Venus Divine razor and I don't used any creams or anything, I just rinse well and then use normal shower gel or cream to wash the area and then pat the skin dry. I've tried wax strips but apart from the pain (I don't 'do' pain) they also caused a horrible irritation/rash. Never again for me, though I agree that everyone has different pain tolerance and I'm probably (ummm almost certainly) just a big baby. As I have sensitive skin, I gave up on using depilatory creams a long time ago as they irritated my skin (even the sensitive skin formula). I didn't notice any benefit whatsoever in using them (in terms of hair regrowth), and besides that they stunk out the bathroom. Shaving in the shower is so quick and easy. Of course, it is your choice as to which method you want to try, but I agree with what Mirelly said about talking with your mum about it.
Mirelly and SBW are right - Shaving your legs does NOT make the hair grow back thicker and darker - at least not in my experience! And even if it does, for most people, shaving is really the most practicle solution if you want to remove leg hair! I have been shaving longer than you have been alive, and if anything, I have to do it less now than when I started. Listen to Mirelly - she has very good advice. An whatever you do, do NOT try an Epilady! I tried that once...Think of the MOST PAINFUL thing you have ever experienced, and then multiply that by TEN! Call me a wimp, but will NEVER try that again! I don't care HOW LONG it keeps the hair from growing back!!!!!
Just the word Epilady sends a shiver down my spine. Never tried it but it looks to be worse than anything I can imagine. It was probably created by a man.
OMG I only noticed that those instruments of torture are still being made. Apart from being utterly ineffective ... they break off as many hairs as they tear out. I had one of the first ones out. It was a like a long spring bent around into a loop and it looked innocent enough before it was switched. Hubby commented that it worried the doodoo out of him cos it put him in mind of the old spring chest expander and hairy chest scenario. It didn't take long to confirm that his fears were correct. Later he treated me to a Braun Silk-Epil the latest gadget ... and he being an engineer was impressed by the Germanic engineering and its principles. If you like it, you use it, I said. So he did (on his arm) ... doesn't hurt hardly at all he said. So I tried it. The rotten no good %^&*() was economical with the truth. It hurt just as much and didn't work either.
quit shaving legs 10-15 years ago except for special occasions. must be menopause or the poly pants I have to wear for work but hair is now hardly noticable....
Thanks everyone. I guess I just feel a bit nervous--it seems like such a big step. I'm also worried about approaching it with my mom. Whenever I talk to her about something that she probably won't agree with, in the end she usually ends up saying something like, "Whatever, do what you want, I don't care." And that makes me even more unwilling to do whatever it is, and guilty for wanting to do something that is so obviously unneeded. It would be better if we could argue about things, because then after we've cooled down we could talk reasonably. And yes, thanks Lynet for the concern. I took the GEPAs this week and they were quite quite easy. What made them fantastic is that all of our teachers were under the impression that we were mightily stressed out by all this standardized testing and didn't give us any homework. In fact, we didn't do any work at all this week. The teachers let us talk and play card games and such during class. However, I'm quite sure I failed the SATs. When I opened the test booklet and read the issue we have to write the essay about, my mind just completely blanked. I had no idea what examples to use, or even how to begin the essay. I ended up using a book that didn't really apply and making up a personal experience to prove my point, and I couldn't even think of a third example so I left it at four paragraphs. The math sections were really challenging too, and I had to leave a few blank because I just had no idea what the problem was asking me to do. *Sigh* What a humbling experience. It should have prompted me to study harder, but instead I'm slacking off even more now.
IMHO the healthiest reaction to "Do what you want, I don't care" is to say "OK, I will!" And then do it and not think anymore about it. You shouldn't let your mom guilt you out of stuff. That's how I spent my entire college years and believe me it was no fun at all. Passive aggression is alive in well in Jersey, I see. And here I thought it was confined to Minnesota ... silly me.
I agree with that sentiment, SBW. Wholeheartedly. Being burdened by guilt and regret is no formula for happiness. I am sure there are cultural issues here and those make it very tough for dyed in the wool westerners to prognosticate when attempting bridge gaps. The alternative approach that 123 could take would be the fait accompli route. Only she can make that decision because, although hair grows back, burned boats can leave erstwhile friends on either side of the river bank ... and sometimes it's a long walk downstream to the next crossing. Like I said originally, we should all be freee to do what we want with own bodies. Hair is just hair. It grows out. When hair appears where it never was before that is simply nature's way of nudging you to say, "hi there, honey-bun, from here on in its all decisions, decisions, decisions, I'll make this first one so easy it'll keep you awake nights for weeks trying to decide what to do about it," (because the easiest is always the hardest and the hardest lessons are needed to put over the most obvious). In essence the decision is this keep it or remove it, with a side of keep it and be miserable cos it makes me feel bad or remove it and feel bad cos it'll make my mum mad with me. These are just ordinary everyday adult decisions. A child decides in black and white and consequences don't exist. Being a grown up is a pain in the *** (and I hate it that that word is censored)
shave shave shave! Do NOT wax! Shave shave shave OR use Depilatory creams. When I was waxing my legs it was very painful and it didn't seem to remove any hair at all! Talk about waist of money and don't even get me started on the pain. Yeah, the hair doesn't come back for ages (if you manage to get it off) but it's just soo not worth it. I use Depilatory creams mostly because it's the most pain-less way of doing it, though I have to admit that it is a bit of a hassle to smear it over your legs and then wait for what, ten minutes? And the hair grows back pretty fast but the same goes for shaving. Shaving is painless unless you accidently nip yourself with the raisor - which can really HURT (ow!). But you sound like you'll be extra careful so I don't think there's much of a risk of you nipping yourself with it. And I'm not very keen on plucking your legs either. It must take ages! You might as well wax your hairs off instead of taking them one by one.. So my advise is: shave shave shave or don't do anything at all And good luck with talking to your mum by the way (sorry I'm English lol). If you don't want to talk to her just buy some raisors or some Depilatory cream or wax or which ever you chose and she'll find out soon enough and hopefully she'll be cool with it (but I don't know your mum so I don't know how she'll take it). When I was bringing it up I asked my mum how she does it and she uses Depilatory creams too so she just let me use some of hers - but she wasn't so keen on me 'shaving off my perfect hairs' (lol) at first but she got over it. But I have experimented over the years to see which is best for me and I have to say, Depilatory creams are my thing! Good luck with everything! It's going to go fine!
