Sorry, I tried

Sorry, I tried

First things first, any nirvana fans might get one im on to here.

Not many of you know me, heck i only posted like 12 times so its no big deal, but i've been watching over you all, posting. It's been fun, you're all good people, and even though i don't know you, and you don't know me, i know that yu are good people with good hearts. (No i'm not drunk or hungover again.) I know this because i've seen all the posts, highs and lows, i never replied because i could'nt. My life has been and still is screwed up, if i posted i would bring people down and i don't want to do that.

I've been through so much crap in my life lately, not over the past week, but over the last 6 months my life has been total and utter crap. Nobody should have to go through what i have, not at my age, i'm too young, but not at any age. It's too much for anybody too handle, i've seen people cope with similar problems, but i'm just... It's too hard to put into words.

Why am i posting this? To teach you all a lesson, a lesson that probably wont make any sense at first, or even after a few reads, but it still means something.

"What else should i be? All apologies,
What else should i say? Everybody's Gay."

I'm sorry if im offending anybody, or if im confusing you. Jusat leave the thread and carry on posting. I used to have fun, party a lot and wake up in wierd places and have fun figuring out how i got there. It's not like that anymore, i've been known for my antics of sitting up on a rooftop, and thinking through things, i was one when i thought things through, i could clear my mind. My mind is screwed up.

"I wish i was like you, easily amused"

I don't mean it as an offense, i mean it because im having a hard time finding joy out of everything at the moment.

I know what you're thinking, holy **** this is a long post! I don't blame you, my fingers are hurting.

"Oh no, not me, we never lost control,
Your face to face, with the man who sold the world"

I sold my world, i lost my world of fun. I've sold my world to gain another, another world of total crap! (Sorry but that's the only way to put it)

"who know's not me, i never lost control,
Your face to face with the man who sold the world"

I have no idea what happened, i had it going good, then it tumbled, im here now. Messed up and wishing i could fix it, im told of how the future will be better, true it may be. It can't get worse than this, i tried finding certain ways out, and they never worked, some of them won't work because they are'nt ways out, they will just make it all worse. The future will be better, but the problem is now.

I have no idea how i got here, i don't care how, i just want it to get better. It will, i just need a little time, i found a place to go, and i am going there. (Don't get ideas like that im not leaving in THAT way.)

Im writing this just to say don't make my mistake, i sold my world for crap, i lost what i had, i found hope many times but it was always crushed, i still have good times with a close freind but i have to be carefull not to bring her down with me.

Just don't be like the man who sold the world ok.

I'm not leaving world sims forever, i'll proberly be back in a week or two, maybe longer. I don't know how long i'll be gone. You don't know me, i don't come here often, i just needed to get it out of me, its hard to talk to people, so its easier for me to get it down. I might be back in a day or two i just dont know. You don't know me, but if you've taken the time to read down to hear, thanks for your time, i tried my best it did'nt work, but im not backing out, i want out and im not going to whine, im going to get out of my problem so that's why im leaving for a short while.

**** i just reaad through that and boy it's long and gloomy so i'll brighten up my goodbye, um ok that's hard. Well anyway Happy New Year, i now i just made it depressing, sorry about that, you did'nt have to read it ok i was just finding a way of getting it off my chest. I'll be back soon, and post a lot more. Bye.

Extra note: Do you know how hard it is to type with those streamers on the screen!?

 

I know how you feel. You will always be one of my closest friends. You know where to find me and I refuse to say good bye.
You know I will always listen, even if there's nothing more I can do. Feel free to come and go. You will always be welcomed here, and we will always be your friends.
Take care. I love you very much my friend. See you.

*hugs 5mcnrck and gives him a kiss on the cheek*

 

Well take care 5mcnrck!
hope ya return!

 

Look after yourself. You can always come here for a talk, if you like. If you get fed up for no reason at all then if you are in the uk try the manic depression fellowship. The leader was Spike Milligan.
I am sure there must be dozens of sites catering to cheering you up. Think on the bright side. I have four dogs who will not let me think any other way. The insist on being taken for walks three times a day and played with quite hard on two of them.

 

It's ok Josh. I thought they were fun. :classic:
And thanks so much Josh for your kind words.

*Blows a friendly kiss to Josh*

Jon. You know where to find me and whenever you want to talk I will listen. Do you remember "Fly like an eagle"? I hope you do.

Thanks Philip. That was a good thing to know you have such a helpline in UK. Sometimes I wish I had info for the whole world to give when people need help. And I'm really happy you found your way back and that you have your dogs. it was my daughter and my animals that kept me up through all years of hardship and mistreatment

But there's also this thing about having the feeling that you CAN trust other people. I think most of us knows what' it's like to be betrayed by other people, especially people we thought we could trust. Also sometimes you can have the feeling that if you tell someone on a helpline or want to see a proffessional for help with just talking they will lock you up and/or pump full of drugs or something.
This is no easy subjects which we all are aware of. It's fairly easy when we have physical diseases or a broken leg. It's mostly in plain view and therefor you can treat it or at least have ways to live with certain things. But when it comes to your personal feelings and your psycological needs it becomes so much more delicate and also occluded many times. Sometimes a depression is easy to understand and in many of those cases it's fairly easy to deal with too. But to often a depressions, a feeling of that there's no hope anymore comes from an ongoing multileveled situation which contains several different issues and that burdens you until you carsh. The situations are as different and as many as there are people involved in your life. Also the magnitude of what has been put onto your shoulders differs with what it is, how strong you are and how much you personally can take and handle. Age is a big part here too.
Oh my, here I go again. Rambling on with my thoughts. Oh well. This is what I THINK. I'm no trained psychologist, but I have learned and seen some during my years. The important thing is that we can find a way out, somewhere, somehow. What is the best help for you? Whatever it is, the experiences we had will change us and our lifes forever. That's a cold fact and have to be faced. Oh well and I get started again. Hopeless aint I?? :cross-eyed:

 

Not hopeless Nina, a very caring and warm person that we have all come to love and cherish as a dear friend. I too can understand the hardships of things seeming too overwhelming to be able to get past. I too understand that it does feel better to just get it out there, somewhere, somehow, to ease the pain, even just a little. We don't always know or understand why things happen the way they do. We just have to try and find a light at the end of sometimes seemingly endless tunnels. When we see the light and get out of the tunnel, we are now stronger, and can now feel like, Ok, I made it. There will always be bad times and good times. We have to strive to hold onto the good times as best we can. The one saying that I have always liked is the one that goes something like "Getting through the hard times only makes us stronger". 5mcnrck, I know it can be hard, but you will always have someone to talk to here at Worlds. We will always listen and help if we can.

 

You are right Chrissy. :classic:
And it's so good you are here with us. Thanks. :classic:

*Gives Chrissy a huge hug*

 

hope things turn out better soon 5mcnrck *gives ya a big huge hug*
another nirvana fan ok,sorry i said that,no time for joking here,sorry :(

 

It's ok Tess. :classic: Can be good to meet someone that likes the same music as well.

 

*gives Nina a big hug*

Thanks, Nina, it is so nice to have meet so many wonderful friends here at Worlds. I feel at home here.

 

thinking of you...

i'm really sorry you're going through so much, 5m...i really had no idea but now i've read that maybe i understand a bit more. no one can take away what you are feeling but maybe we can help release some of it. i'm really worried about you and if you ever need to talk to someone i will be here.

i feel sad i wasn't able to do more so anything you want, just ask me. i hope you feel a lot better soon, you didn't deserve it all. i'm worried and i just want to say i love you so much and i'll be there if you need me. take care. *gives 5m a big hug*

chrissy xxx

 

That goes for me too. I will always listen to you and help you as best I can. You aren't alone. And You know I see you as one of my best friends and I love you very much. And I never turn away from my friends. Feel free to talk or wmail me whenever. Don't hesitate or think you are "disturbing" me. You never do. I can't count all times you've cheered me up or have me fascinated by your skills or ways. You are such a great person. I only wish there were more people ot there like you.

*Gives you a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek*

 

I hope things are getting better for you 5mcnrck... we miss you.

 

I talk to Jon now and then and he's ok, but have quiet some things to deal with. I guess this will take it's time. He is a very special young man. :classic:

 

hope he returns soon hope hes better now

 

this thread can be closed now, back so it does'nt need to be active, this topic is now dead, don't bring it back to life, i hate zombies.

 

YAY!!!!! Welcome back Jon!!!! This was one of the best news I had in a long time. YAY!!! I know I speak for ALL of us when I say that.!!! So Josh or any moderator. Please close this now. :classic:

*jumps up and down*

*kisses Jon on the cheek*

:bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny: