Taste the Cheddar of the Cheese Cult!

Taste the Cheddar of the Cheese Cult!

It has come to our attention that many of you are unaware of the Gaplox Cheese Cult. As loyal members of the group, we felt that many of you could benefit from joining and learning about our illustrious group. Besides, if you have not heard of us how can you know that you need us!! Also, we are aware that in the past ignorance has led to fear and destruction and we want to assure you pagans that as long as you join us, you will have no reason to fear.

Now, before you rush to sign up for a taste of the cheddary goodness of our god, it is only fair to give a brief background to our views. As many of you may already know, Gaplox and its membership started off as a small, independent company that was trying to introduce a revolutionary gaming system that would break the monopoly on the industry by Nintendo and Playstation. To our dismay, the world was not ready but we were able to diversify into other areas of creativity and with our aggressive marketing techniques we were able to make a substantial niche in the market with our unique products, including the ever popular, smokeable French fry. However that same zeal caused us problems in other market areas and finding ourselves in a position of potential conflict with our government over questionable arms dealing, we felt that we needed to re-evaluate our lifetime goals and plans. Also, at this time we found ourselves bored and restless despite our money and power. Not finding happiness in our ruthless and power-hungry ventures we realized that we needed to cultivate a kinder, gentler kind of venture.

It was at this time that we were introduced to the cheddary goodness of the Cheese god. When we were introduced to him and discovered how he only could bless us with wine and cheddar we knew that this was what we had been looking for. Only he could give us the happiness that we had not found with processed and artificial cheese spreads. Here was the real meaning of au gratin. Life finally made sense and we could make sense of life. Our monthly cult meetings have given definition and focus to our lives. With our free calendar (given to us for joining the cult), we are now able to truly plan our lives for the first time. Pillaging the villages of pagans has taught us how forturnate we are compared to the sufferings of others. And did we tell you about the side benefits of pillaging. Lots of goods, girls and great times!!

So, what are you waiting for? Sign up now for a taste of cheddary goodness for yourselves. What have you got to lose? Nothing if you join up nowyour life if we end up pillaging your village!! Its a simple choicejoin us and/or die!!

Viva la couteau superbe la fromage!!! All hail the glory of the Super Cheese Knife!! All bow before his immense power and cheddaryness. All fear the wrath of the big cheese (and we are not talking about Josh!)!!

For more info on the Cheddary goodness that is the Cheese Cult click here.

 

Viva! *bows in awe at the awesome cheesiness of the cult* I shall never believe in another God for the rest of my fragile short life! :knockedout:

 

To prove the expanse of our powers we will start bombarding major cities around the world 24/7 w/ cheeses dropped from planes. We shall continue the cheesey destruction until the various governments of the world agree to turn over their countries or contribute to the cause. We will saturate their air w/ cheddar. Our cheeses will drop down on them so densely that the sun's rays shalln't warm the ground. Their days will become nights, crops will wither and the population shall eat not but the very same cheeses that blocked out their precious life-giver. Then will they realize their wrongful ways and convert to the one true God.

Bow down insignificant mortals and acknowledge our Cheese God as the Overlord, or cower for the judgement day is upon thee!

Viva le Couteau de Fromage! :devious:

 

Hail, Comrade. I applaud your cheesiness.. All pagans shall tremble at the wrath of our Cheddar god! Witness the coming plague of falling cheese and cringe in horror at the destruction of property and homes under our cheddary bombardment. Give up your foolish thoughts of independence and bow in submission before the all-knowing, all-powerful and all cheesy god!

 

Wow... and I thought *I* was cheesy... this is great!! Encore!!

(you should make a webpage about all this... I'd send my friends over to read it.... )

 

A webpage is currently in the works for the Cheese Cult. But it probably won't be up and running for a little while.
Fear puny mortals! For the Cheddar god has expanded his army to his very own website! No one will be spared! No one!

 

:O Oinks! Why, you turncoat! I will not join! I will fight you! :angry: I will succedin my fight for whats good and right in the world!!

 

Well when the website is out, let me know, and I'll link to your cheddary goodness!

 

Cheeseheads of the world, Unite! (just leave me out of it.)

 

Yeeeeeesssss.... *clasps hands together* Excellent.... Domination of the feeble minds of the lowly mortals is well under way. Join us, and/or DIE!

 

I will die fighting you evil doer!!

 

Thats not exactly the kind of smiley you should be using for such a statement, Kitten. :rambo:

 

lol its okay if you dont get my smiley Oink!

 

Join us, and you shall have all the kittens you would ever want. Plus we'll even teach you how to use proper smilies in posts.

 

I am not the one needing teaching. I never wanted kittens! I know you want a piece of me :lick: But if I favored you then all my other followers would be hurt!! I will also still never join! :cheeky: Sorry to disappoint you!

 

Forceful subjugation vs. voluntary subjugation. Seemed like an easy choice to me. But what the hey, if you wanna do it the hard way we're game. :devious: Comrade Solid?

 

I will never join nore will I give up easily

 

I'm thru trying to convince you. See you at the end of my spear point.

 

Um sure! I dont see any spear Oinks!

 

Comrade Oink. I think you know how to handle this person.