You know you're Asian if... LOL, I got this off of one of my other favorite forums, my comments are in bold. You Know You're Asian If... 1. Your mother has a short-haired, curly perm. Okay, no, my mom has shoulder-length hair with highlights. then again, all the moms at chinese school have it. 2. Your dad is some sort of engineer. He majored in it in college... 3. Your parents still tried to get you into places half-price saying you were 12 when you were really 15. LOL, I used to have to pretend I was 8 at american restaurants, but I'm too tall now. 4. You ask your parents help on one math problem and 2 hours later they're still lecturing. no, I don't ask my parents for help, I just leave it blank. 5. You have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry. LOL, more like 50. 7. Everyone thinks you're "Chinese" no matter what part of Asia your ancestors were from. Though I am Chinese, it's still true. 8. You've had a bowl haircut at one point in your life. LOL, my brother used to have one but it stuck up. 9. Your parents enjoy comparing you to their friends' kids. "Why don't you eat any healthy food?! Sarah eats spinach! Why don't you?! Lydia's house is clean and spotless, why can't you tidy up after yourselves?!" 10. You've had to sit through karaoke videos with scantily clad, ugly Asian women attempting to dance and walk around a temple, forest, or library. No. I do not want to know. 12. You drive mostly Japanese cars. Toyota rocks! 13. You've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom. Uh...in Beijing, I guess, but it doesn't work here. 14. You've had to eat parts of animals they don't even put in hot dogs. Lamb intestines in oatmeal, anyone? 15. At least once, you've started a joke with "Confucius say....". Uh...no... 16. You know what bok choy is. LOL, what self-respecting Asian doesn't? 17. You've gotten little red envelopes around February. Psh, well, duh. Chinese New Year's. 18. Piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back, and closet doors. Well, it's true, but I didn't know it was an Asian thing... 19. You hear (your name + eee (optional) + yah!) every time someone calls you (e.g. Jean - ee - yah! or Mary - yah!). Uh..I dunno... 20. You have no eyelashes. Au contraire, although they point down so it doesn't look pretty. 21. Idiot people try to impress you with pathetic imitation Asian languages, like the ever-so-popular: ching chong woo bok chi, etc.. Yes, they are idiots. 22. Your parents say leaving rice in your bowl is a sin. LOL, too true, but I do it anyway. 23. The Bio lectures on marine life (seaweed, sea cucumbers, octopii) was last night's dinner. Again, true, though seaweed isn't that bad in sushi. Octopus and sea cucumbers...no....at least, not yet. 24. Your ancestors 1000 generations back invented the back scratcher. LOL, maybe. 25. At least one family member wears black wire/plastic frame glasses. Of course. 26. Your parents hover over your tired, caffeine-drugged body at 12 midnight to say, "In Korea (or other native country), we studied even more." Not with my parents, but I'm just lucky. 27. Your parents expect you'll be best friends with any one off the street in any given area as long as they are Asian. Actually, they're mad that I'm only friends with Asians. 28. An Asian woman comes on campus and people ask: "Is that your mother?" Well then, "Is it your sister?". Um...I guess. 29. Your relatives' houses smell like incense, mothballs or both. Incense, yep. 30. Your parents say, "Calculus? I took Calculus in 8th grade!". LOL! 31. Everyone thinks you're good at math. Of course. 32. Your parents' vocabulary is filled with "ai-yahs, and Wah's. Aiyah is a way of life. 33. You like $1.75 movies. Uh...I dunno. 34. You like $1.50 movies even more. I dunno... 35. Your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing from Asia with fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks, and English words that make no sense, in great colors like yellow, pink, magenta, orange, and the ever popular lime green. LOL, I got two pairs of pajamas that are pale pink with cows and random french words on them. 36. Your parents insist you marry within your race. LOL, well, I just like Asians better. I know it's sorta racist, but it's just the human mindset. 37. You never order chop suey, sweet and sour pork, or any other imitation of oriental food. It's okay, but I hate how they say it. Hey, you want some lo mein? It's like saying low Maine. maine isn't low. It's all the way at the top of the US, man. 38. You either really, really want to go to UCI or really, really want to stay away from it. What's UCI? 39. Your parents have never kissed you. No, my mom used to kiss me goodnight. 40. Your parents have never kissed each other. Well, not anymore... 41. You learned about the birds and the bees from someone other than your parents. LOL, of course. 42. "You want a stereo?! When I was your age, I didn't even have shoes!!". again, of course. 43. People see a bunch of scribbles on a chopstick and ask you to translate. Again, of course... 44. You have to call just about all your parent's friends "Auntie and Uncle". No, I call them Aunt and Uncle in Chinese. 45. You have 12+ aunts and uncles. LOL, maybe, I don't know all of them. 46. At expensive restaurants, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage and NEVER order dessert. Of course. 47. Your parents simply cut the green/black part off the bread and say "Eat anyway. It's still good." LOL, once. 48. The vast majority of the people related to you wear glasses. Thick glasses. Only on my dad's side of the family. 49. You will most likely be taller than your parents. I don't think so. 50. Your parents have either make you play the piano, the violin, or both. Well, duh. 51. You get nothing if you do well in school, but crapped on if you don't. Ew, no. well, maybe they did like a long, long, LONG time ago. 52. When going to other people's houses, you always have to bring a gift. ..No..never heard of that before. 53. Your dad still pulls his socks up to his knees, you know, the ones with the blue and pink stripes at the top. LOL, no. My mom's too stylish to be seen with a guy with blue and pink striped socks. She doesn't let him wear dorky clothes. 54. Your family owns a tennis racquet, golf clubs, or both. Golf, i don't think so. Tennis, of course. 55. Your family always cheers for the Asian athlete on TV (i.e. Michael Chan). We don't really watch any sports. 56. The furniture in your house never matches the wallpaper, the carpet, the decorations, or any of the rest of the furniture. Actually, no. My mom is a unique Asian and usually drags me off to the craft store to pick tassles with her. -_- 57. You have rocks, sticks, leaves, and strange-smelling, unknown substances in your pantry for use as medicine. Of course. 58. You own a rice cooker or two. Who doesn't? 59. You buy soy sauce by the gallon. Look above ^^ 60. Your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head. I saw one sitting on the coffee table... 61. Your parents tell you about how long it took for them to get to school, how horrible the weather was in their native country, and how much they still appreciated going. "I only had two outfits and I had to ride my bike through the rain and I had to carry a big wooden umbrella with me throughout the day whenever it rained and--" 62. Your parents buy you clothes and shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow into it" and wear it for years to come. Of course... LOL, what do you guys think?
Eh, I don't know. I never took the time to actually find out. It's probably just the name of the company that made it, or what it's made of, or something like that. Anyway, I'm too young to start worrying about UCI.
