Ironsides My names Errol Waring and I live at 203 Custer Boulevard. Thats downtown Strangetown. I think weve met before but if you dont remember me dont worry about it. Heres my card. Thats right. Robots. I make them. I repair them. Yes, Im the same guy who wrote that book From The Basement to the Moon. Sure, its a stupid title and I told him so. Who? The book agent, thats who. When I wrote it I called it Other Times, Other Places, but he said, I get books published and Ive been doing it for a long time. Work with me, Errol. Your title isnt going to do what we want. Your market is young adults, not little kids. Trust me on this. Im an inventor, not a writer, and I was done with writing, so I just signed the contract. But trust him? What does he know? When I was younger we didnt read. We partied. Anyway, somebody out there is reading books because mine sold enough copies to make a little profit for the publishers. The agent got himself a new car. I got a check for 20 big ones. So Kate and I used the money to renovate the house. We built a workshop over the garage and converted the basement into living space. Kate didnt like having my workshop in the basement because my machines made the dishes rattle. Life was good for awhile. Then one day it took an unexpected turn. I came home from work that day, stopped to talk to my little Ania playing in the living room, then walked into the kitchen. I heard someone going through the cupboards in there and I thought it was Kate. It wasnt. I saw an old woman with her back to me and her head in the refrigerator. Hello, I said. Wheres Kate? The old woman closed the refrigerator and turned around. She dropped the plate she held. It didnt break because it was plastic. I bent over and picked it up. But when I stood up again and saw her face I dropped the plate, too. The old woman and I stared at each other. Errol? she said. Mom?
You wonder why I was so surprised to see my Mom? I was more than surprised. She disappeared when I was nine. My Granddad told me she was dead. I knew she wasnt really dead but Id never heard from her again. Now here she was standing in my kitchen. Shes changed a lot but you dont forget your Mom. Whered you come from? I said. What are you doing in Kates house? she said. Its my house. And Im her fancy. Fancy? You mean fiance. Thats right. Im her boyfriend. Is that baby in the other room yours? Of course she is. Then why arent you two married? Weve been busy. And Kate wants a nice church wedding. As well she should. Ill help her arrange it. The baby crawled into the kitchen, wanting attention. Mom looked at the baby and burst out into tears. I have a Grandbaby, she blubbered. Shes my own Grandbaby. I didnt think Id ever get a Grandbaby. She dug a tissue out of an apron pocket and dabbed at her eyes. Ania was surprised by all the commotion and started crying, too. Mom picked her up, hugged her, and carried her upstairs. They cried the whole way. I sat down at the kitchen table to recover from the ordeal. I was still there when Kate came in the back door carrying a watering can.. Hi, Lover, she said, big smile on her face. Whats that look for? Whats wrong? Before I could say anything, Mom was back, but without the tears. The baby, she said, is taking a nap. Viola, Kate was still smiling. This is Errol. Errol, Honey, I have finally found our live-in nanny. Viola comes with wonderful references. Mom and I exchanged a look. I cleared my throat. Kate, I thing you should know that Viola Waring Lothario Martin Williams. Mom added. I turned and looked at her. Lothario Martin Williams? Richard Martin and Sydney Williams. Lovely men, may they rest in peace. And Lothario? Went back to Cassandra. They have six children. Will you two stop! Kate said. Let me in on this. Whats going on? You know each other? Kate, I said. Meet Viola Waring Lothario Martin Williams, my mother. The watering can fell from Kates hand and headed for the floor. I wondered if it was empty.
So Errol is back. I don't know how long he'll last this time. We both need a couple shots of the green juice. He and I have been working hard trying to learn about OFB. It's a tough EP, that's for sure. :hypnotized: I'm going to try to lighten up on the pictures although I'm probably incurable in that regard. But I'm not planning on building tropical islands, mountain temples or burning castles this time. That doesn't mean things won't get goofy.
Errol is back already? He sure leads an interesting life. Yeah, OFB is a challenge. Please don't lighten up on the pictures though.
One word, three letters, and several pieces of punctuation juat about describes how I feel. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We had spaghetti for supper. Conversation was “pass the cheese” and “have another meatball.” When everyone was full of pasta and feeling calmer I said “So tell me, Mom, where’ve you been all these years?” “In the city. Not this one. Pleasantview’s. I was happy with Richard. I was happy with Sidney, too. They both died too young. Richard insisted on repairing broken appliances and finally electrocuted himself. Sidney died of the flu. I couldn‘t get the man to stay in bed. Lordy, but he loved his piano. I‘ll always say, it was the piano that was the end of him.” “I’m so sorry, Viola,” said Kate. “Thank you, my dear. Losing them was hard for me, especially Sidney. I’m not sure I would have survived his death if it weren’t for that nice doctor. Never did catch his name. But no matter.“ She sat up straighter and smiled at us, “That was many years ago and I have adjusted to being alone. I earn my keep by taking care of babies.” “Why do you have to do that?” I said, “What happened to Granddad’s money? He told me there was a lot of it somewhere. Since you‘re not dead after all…” “I took what he owed Don when I left. That’s all. I thought you got the rest.” “Not a single simoleon. What did he owe Lothario for?” As if I didn’t know. Granddad, my friend Harcourt and I had robbed the man. But my life as a thief is long behind me and Mom didn’t know about my role in Lothario‘s robbery. “I will not discuss it. As far as I’m concerned your Granddad’s misadventures were buried with him.” “So what happened to it?” “To what? You mean the money I gave to Don? We spent it. We were young.” “I see,” I said. And I did. Don Lothario had probably spent all the Goth family trust funds as well. I was puzzled, though. “Do I understand you right? Did Granddad have more stashed away? More than you gave to Don?” “Oh, my goodness, yes. A lifetime of ill-gotten gains? He was rolling in it.”
Later that night Kate and I lay cozy in bed, talking quietly. Kate said, So theres a treasure buried somewhere? Dont count on it. Granddad told me Mom took everything he had. Mom now says he had plenty more. I had what I needed, growing up, but nothing extra. If we were rich, I never knew it. Doesnt matter now. Im just teasing you, Lover. Ive got two more questions for Mom, though. First, how did she recognize me? I was just a little kid when she left. And second, who do the ashes in the urn belong to? Granddad always insisted it was Mom and that I should take good care of the urn. Maybe he buried the treasure in the urn. I laughed out loud and Kate shushed me but there was no sound from Ania in the next room. As for your first question, Honey, shes your mother, after all. She probably checked up on you regularly, from a distance. Im sure shes got a scrapbook full of your grade school pictures. And my mug shots from the wanted posters? Hey, Ive got those, too. Kate! I was a policewoman, you remember. You look real mean in those pictures, especially with that buzz cut you wore at the time. I felt real mean. I was looking at five to ten in the slammer when they took them. But you should get rid of those things before Ania finds them. The gun, too. Tomorrow, first thing. By the way, wheres the urn? At Gothier Green Lawns where it belongs. Forget about it and go to sleep.
Heh. At least it wasn't a coffin. Much easier to peek in an urn. You never disappoint, Lynet. This story is really heating up ... I think it's so cute that Kate has his wanted posters, like she's a groupie or something.
Good morning, Errol, said Mom. Go put a shirt on. I did not go put a shirt on. I grabbed a pastry and sat down next to her. Her face got red but she didnt say anything more about it. Kate came into the kitchen, got a pastry and sat down with us. Did you like the room, Viola? Is there anything else you need? Wed given Mom the basement bedroom. Its not like Harcourt left it. We had sold all the junk and fixed the place up nice when doing all the renovations to the house. Thank you, Kate. Its a very pleasant room. Perhaps further from the baby than Id really like to be, but Im not complaining. And having to walk outside to get into the house proper is not a burden. It really isnt. If I have to come in here after dark the walkway is well lit. Except for one small area. But I can use a flashlight there... she rambled on about it for a while. Kate sat quiet, a strange look on her face. When we heard Ania yelling from her crib Mom went up to get her. Kate looked at me. Wow, she said. Ive heard about them. Mother-in-laws. Please slap me if I ever start talking like that. Like what? Go take your shower, buster. Youll be late for work.
I quit the job on Monday but did not tell Kate about it. Plenty of time for that. It was Tuesday morning and Id have had the day off from work anyway. I went out to the shop and started making little robots. Every once in a while a customer bought one. Mom followed a customer in. Kates giving the baby a bath and I thought Id come up to see this place. Glad to see you. Sell a robot to that customer over there. She didnt move. I had another customer in front of me, waiting to be rung up. I bent over the cash register, poking the keys. Mom said, Youre terribly slow, Errol. You shouldnt keep this nice gentleman waiting. The cash drawer popped out and hit me in the stomach. I gave my customer a big grin full of pain as I took his cash. I pushed the cash drawer closed. Mom, I said, would you take care of the register here? It would be a big help. I would love to, she smiled and stepped up to the register. A couple of hours later when I closed the shop she wasnt smiling. Her hair had started to come loose. Her glasses were smudged. She rubbed at her forehead and swayed on her feet from fatigue, even though Id put a chair next to the register. Were closed now, Mom. Lets go get something to eat. I led her out the door and locked up. The toy robots are nice, Errol, she said. but Ive seen the catalogs you get in the mail. There are some interesting things you could sell here. Little wooden nutcrackers. Silk flowers. Pictures would do a lot for those bare walls. I dont have the extra cash for all that. Not yet. And the garage is wasted on your truck. There is more space down there for a proper store. You could leave your machinery in the room above the garage and have the shop downstairs. Just park the truck in the driveway. Ive considered it but I dont have the extra cash to do that yet, either, Mom. You should hire an experienced cashier, too. I never return to a store where the cashiers are slow. I refuse to wait in long lines. I smell pork chops. Kate is cooking pork chops and I love pork chops. I dont smell cloves. She should add a pinch of ground cloves to the pork. Ill be sure to give her my recipe first thing tomorrow. I stopped on the porch outside the kitchen and looked at Mom. Do me a favor and just tell her thanks for a wonderful dinner.
You did what? You quit? Yes, Sweetheart. Taking care of the shop and working those long hours as an inventor for Oh, what a relief. unh Im so glad, Lover. Come here and get in bed. Kiss me. But Kiss me! So I did, and we stopped talking for a while. Later on, half asleep in each others arms, I asked her why she was glad to hear Id quit my job. Because, she whispered, I want to go back to teaching. And your customers ask me questions that I cant answer. You should be there. What about Ania? Ania adores her grandmother. They get along great. Theyll have fun. And Viola will have complete freedom with her recipes, cloves and all. Cloves? Just a pinch.
Building the bigger robots was more interesting. I worked up the design myself after doing repairs on the ones my neighbors were bringing to me. They sold OK. Not as fast as the toys. I lost track of one once. I think it went off on its own to water the plants around the house and got stuck somewhere. A customer brought it around and asked if it was for sale. Sure, I said. I didnt ask where hed found it, but Id have to be more careful. It was Saturday morning when Kate found me at the shop. Close it up, Lover, and go take a shower. We have to be at the chapel by 2 pm. What for? Ive got two more of these to repair. OUCH. I rubbed my arm where shed punched me. Ill lock up here, she said. Go shower and put on the tux we rented. Oh, right. Id forgotten about the wedding. Mine and Kates at the Custer Chapel down the road. Mom, Kate and I were dressed to the teeth but the guests had been told they should come casual since the reception was outside in the grass. When Mom first heard about this she said, I cannot imagine such a thing. People know better than that and they will come in formal attire. That may be true in Pleasantview but not here. Strangetown is a casual town. Mom sniffed and wiped at her eyes through the whole ceremony and Im sure its because she was the only one in the audience not wearing jeans. So as soon as we were outside I put a drink in her hand. After two of those she forgot about the dress code and had a good time. I got a little loose myself. We couldnt afford a real band so we rented a Juke Box. We were still dancing when it was too dark to see much. Not good when some of the guests lose their chairs and sit on the grass, but nobody was seriously hurt. By the time we got home the nanny had eaten half the food in the refrigerator but at least shed also emptied the babys potties and taken out the trash.
I love this story. Mom is a kick. Glad I don't have to live with her. I'd give her a pinch, LOL. Glad they finally tied the knot. I think you should use Errol's mug shot for your avatar, though it might scare some people.
Errol's shot would make a great avatar, I think. His mom is very realistic. I'm sure you have some experience on how they act, LOL.
I agree...his mom is WAY to realistic! BTW, where did you get Kate's wedding dress/veil. I love them!
