The Good, Bad & Ugly I ran across these at another forum and OMG, they are funny. Good: Your husband understands fashion. Bad: He's a cross-dresser. Ugly: He looks better than you. Good: Your wife is pregnant. Bad: It's triplets. Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago. Good: Your wife's not talking to you. Bad: She wants a divorce. Ugly: She's a lawyer. Good: Your son is finally maturing. Bad: He's involved with the woman next door. Ugly: So are you. Good: Your son studies a lot in his room. Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there. Ugly: You're in them. Good: You give the "birds and bees" talk to your daughter. Bad: She keeps interrupting. Ugly: With corrections. Good: The postman's early. Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying a shotgun. Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas. Good: Your son is dating someone new. Bad: It's another man. Ugly: He's your best friend. The Good: You are granted a wish. You wish to be on TV. The Bad: Its Cable The Ugly: The show you appear on is Trauma: Life in the E.R. Good: Your daughter got a new job. Bad: As a hooker. Ugly: Your coworkers are her best clients. Way ugly: She makes more money than you do. Even uglier: You're a client too!!
OMG that is way too funny...scary to the nth degree but funny! Where do some people get their ideas...I'm trying to think of a funny one to go with this and can't think of a single one...hmm, how about this one? Good: Snake Bad: Oink Ugly: their kids
I longed for a few years to give instructions to the firm I worked for to act in the sale of a non-existent house for a non-existent client. I didn't - I thought it might work?
I once told a client that the other side had at least six witnesses and how many did we have? He said "How many do you want?"
Do you realise I have some people who have asked me what is wrong with the reply I got concerning the number of witnesses.
Now that's a little worrysome! Maybe they were thinking that meant how many of the witnesses that DID witness it were necessary to contact... but it sounded like how many witnesses did he have to invent to me!
They were just dim, I think. When I think of the number of times I have been dim. We hired a boat that would not start. Eventually I gave up and called the boatyard. The man came and turned the petrol on.
Poor Philip...however, most of us have been there at one time or another....however, some people seem to be on the "dim" setting most of their lives...just check out the Darwin Awards..but, hopefully, most of us only suffer intermittent brightness failure!! I'm sorry that I like giving you and Snake a hard time, Oink. I'm sorry that I insulted Gurt Jr, Oink...I shoulda known she took after her daddy! I'm sorry you don't have the time to defend your daughter's non-existant honor (er....or is that non-existant daughter?)....for shame!! LOL!!
Well, it IS shameful that you have to pick on a little girl, and doing so on a non-exsistent one at that only makes it worse. I regret not having brought enough money to the bookstore so I ended up having to choose between one other book and the latest edition of the Darwin Awards. I left with neither and I still havent gotten the Darwin Awards book yet. The nominees and winners (and I use that word VERY loosely) make me feel superior.
