AWOL Boyfriend?

AWOL Boyfriend?

I feel really bad right now. I saw my boyfriend on Friday evening and it all seemed fine, but I haven't heard from him since I saw him, and I'm afraid that he's gone forever. What makes this worse is that my last boyfriend just stopped texting me instead of giving me a reason not to go out with me any more, so I'm paranoid he's done the same thing. Has anyone else had a similar experience? Why do men do stuff like this?

 

Yes, most men are *******s that don't take our feelings into consideration, unfortunately, I think this is the reason that we like em.....

I've been with my partner for 12 years now (since I was 19) and mobiles weren't around then, but I did get the stopping of the phone calls on a few occasions, I think most of us have at some point in our lives. Have you tried contacting him at all? Maybe just a simple text that says hi! Don't question him why he hasn't called, you'll never get the true answer anyway. If he calls you back, then all is good, if he doesn't, then think of it as his loss and try to move on.

Let us know how you go with it, and all the best to you.

 

I have sent him a few texts but I'm steeling myself for not hearing back from him ever again, since I haven't heard from him yet. I know we haven't (or hadn't?) been going out that long (a couple of weeks, though we've known each other a while and live fairly close to each other) but it still hurts like mad. I always seem to get these blokes though. Is it something to do with me????:(

 

It could possibly open up a whole new can of worms if I do that. I don't know exactly where he lives, I know the road but not the house. Calling him is just a scary idea to me; a sensible one yes but scary all the same. Call me sad and/or pathetic but there you go, that's me!

 

Shintoga, you need to decide why you want to be with this fella. Is it possible that you're thinking long term committment while he was still thinking 'just for fun'? I guess we've all been in the same boat at some stage in our lives and I know it hurts like hell when you feel more seriously about someone than they feel about you. I can only tell you that the pain goes away and a lot quicker than you think. You can't make him love you and trying will only bring more sorrow in the long run. It would be easier if you had an address to write to him ... as it is texting is too abbreviated, it's not possible clearly to say all you need to, let alone want. The danger is that texting him more than once will probably scare him more and more, making him feel stalked or something like that. So, try and forget the whole sorry business and play The Sims until you can't keep your eyes open any more then go get a good night's kip! <sending a big warm hug!!>

 

Well, I hadn't actually told him how I felt or anything, and as far as I was concerned we were both having fun, talking and making jokes together. At the moment I'm not texting him at all, and just seeing what happens. If he doesn't contact me there's nothing I can do any more, so I'll take it one day at a time after that. Thanks to everyone who has replied so far!

 

I have news for you, and I know it's going to be hard to accept, but please, try. Here it is: Not All Men Are Deuchebags.

I met my wife online. We fell in love online. We talked on the phone, we met at our favorite chat room, we sent letters. Then we met in real life. Shortly after that we moved in and got married. Since then I have adopted her three boys and we are still very much in love.

Putting the weight of failure that insecure, power-game playing little dorks exude on all men's shoulders seels us short. Some of us are great. Saying all of us are bad is the same as men insisting that "all good-looking women date stupid jerks." It's untrue and general. Right up there with "all women are flighty, emotional, and fickle." It sells short a pertnership that is supposed to be equal. Remember that: equality. It means an equal share in finding happiness. Don't wait for him to text you or come around to you. Be pro-active. Make him notice, or start looking for a guy who won't treat you like disposable trash. Stop blaming and cliche'ing the relationship; look for something new.

 

I don't think all men are bad, I have known some great guys in the past (including boyfriends), and one of my longest-standing friends has a nice boyfriend she's been going out with for at least 18 months, but I just seem to get all the ones from Arseland recently. That's what makes me frustrated, that I can't seem to find a nice one for myself.

 

Shintoga,

As someone who's been in your exact shoes, all I can say is, if you're afraid to call this guy he's probably not the one for you. I have had boyfriends stop talking to me. It's something SOME guys do (note the "some" Rowanstaff ). They're either afraid to confront you because they hate to see someone cry/make a scene, or they're just jerks who can't deal with feelings, theirs or anyone else's.

I have been married for 11 years to a great guy, and I was never afraid to call him, even at the very first. Nervous, happy and excited to call him, yes, afraid, no.

I know it sounds corny, but when you meet someone you "click" with, you just know it's right.

If this guy is jerking you around after only two weeks, think how the rest of your relationship would go. You're worth more than that.

On the other hand, it's possible something has come up. Here are some scenarios where your boyfriend isn't a jerk:

1. His cell phone, or whatever he text messages on, broke. Of course, he could call you from a pay phone or a friend's house or whatever in that case.

2. Something came up. His mother's in the hospital, his dog got ran over and he's depressed about it, he lost his job and has to find another one right away, his hand's in a cast and he can't use his cell phone.

I'd say give him another week or so before you write him off. In the meantime, don't stalk him. You might want to call and leave ONE voice message saying, hey, how's it going, and leave it at that. Just in case his text messenger is broken, or his fingers are.

If you don't even know where he lives maybe he doesn't think you're all that serious, which is why he might not call right away if something did come up.

I'd chill a bit. It's been only a couple of weeks. Hard to know what someone is thinking after such a short time.

 

Wow. Sweeping generilisations! I remember being so happy to make those.