Funny awaymessages for your Instant messenger: "Hello. Is your fridge running? Well mine is and I'm around the house trying to catch it. So I'll be back later."
The answering machine: "Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message. " :
I am on a quest to the deepest darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for a may not return alive.
Lol Josh. Did you know? "In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand. "
I heard that before!! I thought it was really funny we have that as an expression!! I wonder where we EVER got that idea!!
Here's another blonde joke One day this blonde walked into a store and said "I`d like to buy that TV." The salesman said "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes." The blonde went home and dyed her hair red. She went back to the store and said "I`d like to buy that TV." "Sorry we don't sell to blondes." The man replied again. She went and dyed her hair black, then returned to the store and said "I`d like to buy that TV." Again the man said "Sorry we don't sell to blondes." The blonde finally asks "How did you know I was a blonde?" The man said "Because that`s not a TV its a microwave." -SS19 :smoke:
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa. "Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. Okay says the lawyer, your turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer? "Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep. -SS19 :devious:
There was this little old lady who loved to sit on her porch and sing hymns all day, which totally annoyed the man next door. Well, one day she started praying out loud, "Lord, I am out of food and I have no way to get any, please help me". Well, this went on for a couple of days and the man next door couldn't take it any longer. So he went to the market and got her some groceries. He gave her the groceries and said, "I hope this will make you be quiet, and the Lord didn't get them, I did." The little old lady took the groceries and then prayed, "Lord thank you for the groceries, and you sent the devil to get them".
