A state trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver. "Ma'am, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road?" The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here!! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!" Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror,the officer replied, "Ma'am...that's your air freshener."
Hehe, what do you call a brunett between two blondes, a translator. LOL sorry i like that joke. (Snake your sig says guys should'nt say yay!, you are yet to meet I love my couch. heh)
Thought some of these were amusing. "Blondes, having endured years of abuse, have finally responded. Here's what they have to say about redheads and brunettes. **RedHeads** How do you get a redhead to argue with you? Say something If you love a Redhead, set her free ... if she follows you everywhere you go, pitches a tent in your front lawn and puts your new girlfriend in the hospital, she's yours. What's safer: a redhead or a piranha? The piranha. They only attack in schools. How do you know when your redhead has forgiven you? She stops washing your clothes in the toilet bowl. **Burnettes** What's black and blue and brown and laying in a ditch? A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes. What do you call a good looking man with a brunette? A hostage."
Two blondes were waiting at the Pearly Gates and struck up a conversation. First blonde says "How did you die?" Second says "I froze to death". First blonde says "Must have been awful." Second blonde says "How did you die?" First blonde says "I had a heart attack, I knew my husband was being unfaithful so I came home unexpectedly one day and rushed to the bedroom and found my husband alone reading. I rushed to the basement and nobody was hiding there, I rushed to the attic and still no one, and after all that rushing around I had a heart attack and died." Second blonde says, "If only you'd looked in the freezer we'd both still be alive." :bunny:
LOL, I liked that one! Sarah, the church gossip: Sarah, the church gossip and self-appointed supervisor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other peoples business. Several residents were unappreciative of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his pickup truck parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She commented to George and others that everyone seeing it there would know he was an alcoholic. George, a man of few words, stared at her for a few moments and just walked away. He said nothing. Later that evening, George, quietly parked his pickup truck in front of Sarah's house.......... And left it there ALL Night!!
A little old lady was mailing an old family bible to her brother across the country. The clerk asked " Is there anything breakable in here?" The lady answered "Only the 10 commandments!!!"
Here's a Bumper snicker... Sticker I saw recently..... I used to have a handle on life... but it broke off! Heart attacks... God's revenge for eating his animal friends! Don't like my driving??? Quit watching me!!! Try not to let your mind wander... It's too smalll to be out by itself!
Lol all of you. And hello Billie!! Seems you know Ala already. Really nice to have you here. :classic:
Yes We go back around 10 yrs. Actually, our friendship has lasted through a lot! Ask Ala about the time my oldest, came home from Kindergarten with 'Chicken Pox'. One of our best Horror stories!
my frist post here got this from my cuzin like 5 years ago ok these 3 guys go to a motel and ask for a room the person that works there says this place is honted and they say we dont care give us a room so they get one that night when there asleep the 1st guy hetres (i got you where i wont you and no im gonna eat you) so he wakes up looks around he dosent see anything so he gos back to bed the 2end guy here it to he dose the same thing and goz back to bed the 3erd guy dose the same thing but gets up and goz to the closet and opens it and sees a gorila in there whith a boger on his finger sayin (i got u where i wont u now im gonna eat you thats it i relly like that onethere one just like this but they here (when the log falls over we will die) and the 3erd guy goz in the bathroom and sees ants on a pice of poop sayin (when the log falls ovr we will dieP
Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." With that she stripped from her neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Mama needs new clothes!" Then she hollered..."YES! YES! I WON! I WON!" She jumped up and down and hugged each of the dealers. She then picked up all the money and clothes and quickly departed. The dealers just stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know, I thought YOU were watching!" The moral is: Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men
