So, What's New?

I'm a Super-Star...

And wow, Alison. You always think that kind of thing won't happen to someone you know...

 

I'm looking at the '...or something...' part. Guys do strange things sometimes because they think they're immortal (and I'm not being funny -- just watch how some of them behave in cars on the highway.) Maybe someone dared him to do something dangerous. I hope he's not seriously hurt. Anyway, sorry to hear it didn't work out for you.

And very sorry about Gary. Life is fragile.

Edited to add: Congratulations, SBW! Please, when you find the spell for regaining my girlish figure, let me know as soon as possible. Thanks

 

I just got my book yesterday! One that I have been anticipating for several months now. Definitely worth the wait. I read for about five hours straight last night, up until one in the morning, and then finished it in two hours when I woke up. Must be a new record for me. My eyes are burning.

Lately I've been feeling...depressed. Except it's recurring. Once my mind lapses and I stop doing something, I'm overcome with this gnawing dread--a combination of worry and guilt, I think. There's the constant worry about doing well in high school, getting into a good college, adult life, the usual. But then I'm also guilty about my violin lessons, doing Algebra over the summer in preparation of school...I know it sounds dramatic, but none of my friends seem to be going through the same thing I am. They don't really think about the future, and worry about trivial things: having friends in their classes next year, who "likes" who...

For example, my violin teacher left for a month to Russia, and he's already been back for a while. But my mom has been saying that maybe I should just forget about violin lessons. I obviously don't enjoy them, though I do like being able to play violin. And I'm also wasting money and time. But playing an instrument is important to the whole college credit thing, and I would feel weird not taking instrument lessons anymore.

But then, the idea of not having to have lessons anymore is so tantalizing...it's quite obvious to my teacher and my mom, by now, that I'm not going to improve very much from now on. I feel guilty about not trying harder to make this worth it. But I can't control my feelings, and I know that no matter how much I practice, I know I'm not going to do any better if I just don't want to play anymore.

Anyway, that's the kind of "gnawing dread" I'm talking about. I feel a little weird spilling my guts on the internet, but I didn't know who else to talk to. :(

 

Talk your heart out, kid. On this site, anyway, we're friends and you'll always get positive feedback.

What I suspect is, and you may hate to hear this, or not, is that it's the growth/teenage/hormones business that's driving you nuts. Most young people, although not all by any means, have an emotionally rough time during these teenage years. And I'm NOT talking about the physical changes girls go through, for pete's sake. This is something entirely different that boys suffer through as well. My son did, more than my daughter, although she didn't escape it entirely. It's definitely a difficult time. My son got all moody and quiet and completely different from his normally happy self. (He's all better now.)

Try to forgive your parents. They won't remember what they went through (I certainly don't) and may not understand how touchy you are about what to them may seem like really minor stuff. They may react a little harshly.

But this is serious business even if many people your age suffer from it. Gnawing dread and depression in small doses you can handle. Talk about it here ANYTIME. But if there's anyone around you that you can feel comfortable talking to about it, well, that is SO much better.

It bothers me alot when young people are unhappy. Please accept a virtual hug from me (picture me hugging the monitor right now. Looks pretty funny.) I know problems can be overwhelming and I just want to say that, in time, they will go away. (I can't even remember the names and faces of teachers in high school that I absolutely loathed and detested.) I pomise you that when you're 57 years old life will be a lot better (except for your figure. ) I'm making jokes but I'm also competely serious!

 

I'm just a visitor. Hey, but visiting ain't bad I guess.

 

Thanks, Lynet. I'm not really blaming my parents much--it's not their fault being successful in life seems so hard.

 

I've actually been enjoying this place, Josh.

 

To succeed or not to succeed. Ah, there's the rub.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune...

oh, what a bother. I have to go to a dress-up dinner tonight with my husband. I bought a slinky, clingy black dress last night and am hoping the fact that it is very, very black will mask where my body bulges...at least a little. I went to two different stores (JCPenney and Macy's) and tried on EVERYTHING. It was such a miserable experience. Hope this dress works OK tonight. I rarely wear heels. My feet are really going to hurt. *sigh* OMG, he said there'd be dancing. I'll just die.

To be or not to be...

 

LOL, Lynet. When you're younger you can get away with sucking in your tummy and wearing baggy shirts...which is what I do. Honestly, I'm not the thinnest person my friends know.

 

Hey, 123. I just wanted to add my two cents. I've been too wrapped up in my OWN stress/worry/etc., to read much about anyone else's lately, but now that I've calmed down, deep breath ... here goes.

You're thirteen, and when you're thirteen you think no one else knows what it's like to be you, and in some ways they don't, and in some ways that's just part of being thirteen. The dread and depression, now that's something to keep an eye on. If you feel that way all the time, you should talk to someone about it. A school counselor, a doctor, a nice teacher, your parents, whomever you feel comfortable talking to. Heck, I'm sure you could call one of us if you wanted to. I'm not a big advocate of drugs for kids, but maybe you just have some sort of chemical imbalance. It happens to a lot of people. If it persists, tell someone.

I quit music lessons when I was your age, too. I hated to practice. I was pretty good but I had no drive in that direction. Has it affected me? Yes and no. Yes in that sure it would be cool to be able to sit down at the piano or pick up my clarinet and wow my friends. No in that I still would hate to practice. And what good is something if it makes you miserable? I know exactly what kind of guilt you're feeling. I still have it, and it's no fun, is it. Mine isn't about instruments anymore, but there's always something. That anxiety that you could be doing something more, something better, that you're going to fail ...

And you know what? You might fail, you maybe could do better, but the world won't come to an end. You learn from your mistakes, and they make you stronger, and I think learning to laugh at yourself is a very important survival tool.

Sooooo ... while you're feeling depressed and anxious, here are some things I do:

Exercise. I hate it, you might hate it too, but if you grab your bike or strap on your sneakers and just get out and move you'd be surprised how good you feel afterwards.

Volunteer. Instead of music lessons, why not use that time to work at a local animal shelter? I know how much you love animals. If your mom won't let you have a pet this is the next best thing. And the animals benefit too. If I had more time I would volunteer. Instead, I spend time with my dog, and it always makes me feel better. It might help you too.

Find a hobby/skill/whatever that you DO like. Write in a diary. Goof off. Call a friend and go to a movie.

I hope I don't sound patronizing. I'm giving myself advice as well as you. You and I are a lot alike, I think, and I've been dealing badly with my stress lately too.

So I'll make a deal with you: I'll stop worrying so much if you will.

Repeat after me: I'm a good person, I'm doing the best I can, and that's OK.

Deep breath.

Feel better?

 

Oh, and P.S. to Lynet: You're gorgeous. Stop worrying. Men aren't nearly as critical of us as we are of ourselves. Your husband thinks you're gorgeous, and we do too.

Go knock 'em dead.

 

Hey Person 123 - Some very good advice from SBW and Lynet! I second SBW's advice on keeping a diary or journal! It can really help you get a handle on the emotions you are feeling, and may even help you to break up the "big, overwhelming" things into smaller, more managable chunks.

An added bonus is that someday, when you have your own 13 year old daughter to cope with, you can go back and read what it was like for you, and maybe gain some insights into what she may be feeling!

At the very least, your journals may provide some really entertaining moments when you reach your 30s, and you are hosting a "girls-night-in" party. Who knows...you may find yourself at 1am, reading sections of your old diaries outloud to your closest friends! (For me, that is one of the parties that still gets talked of - and it was 15 years ago!D

Just remember, there are many people on this forum ready to help, and who really do care about you, so don't feel you have to go it alone.

 

Thanks everyone! I just wish my parents had the same opinions. I used to care that I might not get into an Ivy League college and then I wouldn't get a good job and then I'd be poor and live in an apartment for my whole life, but now that I think about it, well...it doesn't seem like the worst thing that could happen to me.

It certainly is hard not to worry about that, with an older sister entering her junior year and the prospect of high school starting in two years looming over me.

This is partly why I play TS2. It takes my mind off the kind of worrying that I don't think is necessary right now.

With the music lessons, I think I'm going to stick around for another year. When 9th grade starts I'll probably quit. It's never mattered to me that my classmates are better at something than I am (I guess I'm just not competitive), so...I'll probably quit in a year if things don't start looking up. Maybe if I work harder it'll be better. That's also why I feel guilty--I know I could do better in violin. With grades and things like that, it doesn't really matter--having straight A's in middle school isn't as important as in high school. But violin lessons eats up time and money for my parents.

Actually, I do take walks around the neighborhood with my mom every night, as soon as it cools down a bit. I used to think it was such a drag and I'd rather be at home simming, but now it's not that bad, and I feel better about not lying around at home the whole summer.

 

Taking walks with your mother is so great. I really enjoyed the times I had with my daughter before she got married and moved away (to the west coast.)

I think that you're a very wise and intelligent young woman. You'll do just fine.

 

What is that line dance that the Sims do? The "Smustle?"

The dinner that my husband and I went to last night was a fancy dress very posh charity event. There was live music, of course, and yes, they had to do the line dance at least once. Ed and I did not participate. It's too much fun to watch it from the sidelines. I couldn't stop thinking of the sims and had to work very hard not to laugh out loud. The sims dance so much better than all these overdressed people.

I think I'll go play with them for a little while (the sims, I mean.) I suddenly got an urge to watch them dance.

 

:rotfl::rotfl:


My favorite is when the toddlers dance.

 

Call me a silly man but my #1 thing I look for in a woman is not her looks but her personality. I'm not saying looks don't count on occassion, but in a date, if she doesn't have a fun personality, she's already not my type.

I love the smustle. Even when Mrs Crumplebottom does it.

 

What's new with us is we have two new friends in our house. They are two guinea pigs named Nimbus and Firebolt. They're sisters so they're already buddies.

Nimbus is really shy. Firebolt's braver. She kind of hogs the food. That's why they call them "pigs," I guess ...

I'll try to get pictures but they're a bit camera shy.

 

The closest I've been to sims this weekend is here. I started getting sick early friday morning only didn't realize it because it was just a headache, right? went to work anyway but by 10 was having a hard time concentrating. fortunately my supervisor saw me on the road and asked what was wrong. anyhow got off early went home and to bed. fever between 99 and 103 and tylenol wasn't doing the trick. Ray made me go to the doctor saturday and started on an antibiotic. fever broke about 3 this morning but throat is still sore and it's still hard to swallow. but I think I'll live. you know you're sick when.... you can't stand to be on the computer because you'd rather be in bed.