Oh, I'm there with you, Kristal. We have days, weeks, like that too. Something in the house always needs repairing, my daughter's school needs a slap on the wrist, the dog needs a haircut that costs more than mine do ... it's always something. Hard to be romantic when you're worrying about money/the government/your daughter's education or lack thereof. But it's what keeps us sane.
Old girlfriends I thought I might as well add another post to his thread. My husband was contacted by email a couple of years ago by an old girlfriend, one from his college days. She "googled" him which is not too hard to do since he works for a CPA firm which puts pictures and bios of its staff up on its web page. They've sent some emails back and forth since then (she lives several states away.) Recently, she told him she was coming into the Washington (DC) area for a conference and did he want to meet her for a drink. He asked me if it was OK with me for him to meet her after work one evening this past week for a drink. I said, sure, go ahead. So he did, taking a handful of pictures to show her, including one of the two of us on our wedding day. He was home by 8. I don't believe I have anything to worry about, especially as he remarked that he was reminded of that country tune with a title I can't quite recall but goes something like, "Thank God for unanswered prayers." I just can't figure it out, though. Why do people do that? Go looking for old boyfriends or girlfriends? I've never had any such urge. I thought it was all very peculiar.
I'm not sure. Closure? "Everything looks better in black and white ... Kodachrome ... " Maybe she was lonely and thought he'd be an easy mark? Our memories tend to wash out any bad feelings and leave a general impression of the relationship behind. So if it was mostly good you might ask yourself, "what if" without remembering how the other person drove you crazy. I have an ex that I never got good closure with, but I've resisted the urge to make contact. I don't think it would end happily. Some dogs are best left lying.
Lynet, now I have that song in my head! "Some times I thank God, for unanswered Prayers. Remember as you're talking to the man upstairs. . ." Hubby's a big Garth Brooks fan. That one and "The Dance" are his favorites. Hummm, and the old girlfriend wasn't interested in meeting you? grrrrr. I think the female "dog" reference fits, don't you.
Yup. I gather from what he has told me that he took their romance a lot more seriously than she did. Imagine a tall, thin studious guy with glasses, shy and awkward around women, getting all kinds of attention from an attractive coed. Anyway, she broke his heart. It took him quite a while to get over it. It was a couple of years at least before I managed to convince him I would not do the same thing. This is the second marriage for me but it's all new to him. I am the only wife he's ever had. He lived alone for many, many years. Anyhow, I was puzzled about why she would suddenly resurface. I thought somebody here might have been through the same thing, from either side. But with me around now she can't mess with his head and heart again.
Nope. Hubby had one serious girlfriend and a couple of crushes/mutual attractions/using him for $$ and gave him one night of "payback" before he had me. My concern is, now that he's thin and looks sexier to other people (I always thought he was hot in a "Michael J. Fox meets Teddy Bear" sort of way) that some other woman will notice and throw herself at him now, today. That hospital he works at is Peyton Place, and marriage vows don't mean a whole lot there to some of those people!! He's told me many a story. :(
And I bet they do mean a lot to him. Didn't he tell everyone there who would listen about your romancing him with a wig and everything a little bit ago. I bet he talks about you and the children a lot, in a positive way. And he does come home and tell you what's going on in Peyton Place. Good sign, having your husband talk freely with you. My ex couldn't be bothered talking to me. I never knew what he was up to or what he was thinking. A very cold person. The man I'm married to now has no problem telling me in detail about his entire day and I hang on every word. It's very important, talking to each other.
I couldn't agree more. And I've always thought, if you don't talk to your spouse, why did you get married? For the, ahem? OK, that's half an hour a week. (If you're lucky.) Leaves a lot of time on your hands ... don't it?
See, that's the point. He was talking, telling me a lot of things about all the women hugging him, flirting with him, even showing him their bras and telling him about their, ummm, relations. He gave his cell phone # out to several of them for work related purposes. Then one day abt. a year ago he started exchanging text messages with a few of them. That was all fine and good, hey, everyone needs a hobby. But, then one of them started texting all day, every day, and he stopped talking about her. He even stopped talking about when she worked or about the conversations they had. His brother told me about it a few weeks ago. (His brother also works with them.) So, I asked them to stop texting. I thought that they were getting too close. There's a lot more to this story, but let's just say that my faith is shaken. I'm not real close with my family, I don't have many friends, Hubby and are kids are all I have in this world. So, I kindof feel like Eeorre right now. LOL I bought Hubby over $400 in birthday presents. His birthday is Saturday, but they came via UPS yesterday while I was at work. I missed seeing the surprise. But. . .he wasn't excited like I'd expected. He just complained about how complicated it was, how much work it was going to be to assemble, how we needed more cords and brackets, blah, blah blah. He didn't even get it out of the box until I nagged him to death about it. I can remember in our poverty years, how expensive it was for me to pick up a Special Halmark Ornament that he collected for his Birthday, and him fawning all over it. He's just different. So, anyway, that's the problem. Sorry to go into so much detail.
It's possible, Kristal, that you're worrying more than you should. My husband once told me that men are simple creatures and that I make things out to be more complicated than they really are. In my case, the presents I buy him for both his birthday and for Christmas often get exchanged . The only present that got him more excited than I'd ever seen him before was a Lionel train set. As far as the women at work are concerned, I know my husband is intensely flattered by any attention he gets from women. He gets quite a kick out of it. But the woman who is bombarding your husband with daily text messaging sounds like a woman with a problem. That's one I'd want to talk to him about. Maybe he's just confused about how to handle the situation, expecially if he works with her, and obviously he knows now that it's upsetting you. Here I am full of advice. I really don't mean to meddle and I'm not looking for a reaction to my comments because it's none of my business. I'm just hoping it's not as serious as you're feeling right now.
Yeah, thanks gals. I think all it is is that he's not used to getting attention from women, and this one is very pretty. They have a lot to talk about, a lot in common. And I know that I haven't been the "Wife of The Year." We're still talking. Things are okay for today. We'll see what tomorrow brings. LOL
Saturday night is the Staff Christmas Party. He had told me once before that she would not be there because she has to work her second job that day. This morning, he told me that he had talked her into coming because he wants me to get to know her. He thinks that if I befriend this woman, then I will no longer be jellous of her. (sigh) I think that when you attack a person ala Sims style in public, you get arrested in RL, right? LOL
LOL, Kristal. Be brave. He'll be proud to have you with him at this party. Saturday night is my husband's office Christmas Party, too. Even though in Simland I'm an elder , I plan to keep my chin up and shoulders back and not say 'eh...eh...eh' at this party.
